I’ve had several mornings over the last couple of weeks when I wake up and kind of have a, “holy crap, I’m getting married in 3 months!!!!” moment. That’s usually followed by a “what am I thinking????” moment.
One of my friends asked me a few weeks ago what it’s like, how I know it’s different, how I know what I’m doing. I had to think for a second, because up until he asked me that, I don’t think I had really unpacked that. I’m not sure I was sure.
I think love is this huge thing that we as humans can’t really comprehend the entirety of. Like God. Which stands to reason, because I John 4:16b tells us that God is love. He doesn’t have love or feel love, He is love. We can feel it and experience it, but I don’t think that as humans we’ll ever truly feel or experience what love truly and fully is until after this life.
So, because of that, love is different things for us at different times. I’ve been in love with people before, very much in love in a few cases, but what I feel now is completely different from what I felt then. I’ve the enthralling, all-I-can-think-about-is-her love. I’ve had the adrenaline-charged, heart-races-when-I’m-around-her love. I’ve had the I-can’t-believe-how-hot-she-is love. During those moments, those seasons of my life, that was love for me. It isn’t now. What I feel now is a peaceful, assuring experience, a knowledge that I not a whole person without her because she completes me so entirely. Completely different kind of love. Were the other feelings love? Totally. Is this love? Absolutely. This is deeper, though. I think it’s a maturity issue. This love, though, permeates me…it’s more pervasive. It’s a desire to “do life” with this person. All the little things. It’s a desire to grow spiritually, emotionally, intellectually with her. It’s a desire to live the adventure of life with her, to make our separate journeys the same journey, and look forward to that journey ending with God.
I think love changes as we mature, and I think that, the more mature the love, the closer it is to What and Who God is.
That being said, it occurs to me how much He wants to “do life” with me, how much He wants to be there and to be a part of this whole thing. How much He cares, and how much He wants my journey to end with Him also.
We can’t even begin to feel how much He loves us, but we see it symbolized in a relationship, in a companion, in a “soul-mate,’ in a marriage.
And ultimately, on a cross.