There’s just too much.
Too much of life, that is. Life itself is overwhelming, even without the extra complications that we add to it. If you’re like me and hyperventilate when you look at your schedule for tomorrow, and can hardly bear to venture a day or more beyond that, then you understand what I’m saying. When exactly did we get this busy?
For me, the issue is that I tend to make hobbies out of tools that should make life run more smoothly. A computer, as I’ve recently discussed on here, is a tool. I don’t seem to be satisfied with this, though…I have to become a Mac enthusiast instead of simply a user, which means I’m now addicted to keeping up with the latest Mac news and being a bit of geek about the whole thing. In fact, I’m addicted to news in general. Perhaps that comes from the fact that I used to do some journalism, I’m not sure. I just know that I must know what’s going on in the world! So, I use an RSS reader in order to be able to simply browse headlines, as well as the blogs I follow. Still, this takes time, and I regularly experience information overload.
I love to read, and I always have a waiting list of books. I think, however, that there was something to the impulsive desiring of a book, determining to get it later, and then forgetting it before my next bookstore visit that used to mark the reading patterns of my youth. Now, of course, I have an Amazon wishlist, where I drop every book that even vaguely interests me in order to keep track of them, and even to hopefully receive them on special occasions. I keep track of what I read with a Visual Bookshelf application on my Facebook page. When I think about how many books I have to read, I get stressed. That really shouldn’t stress me, though, should it?
Making a quiet, contemplative time in the morning to enjoy a couple of cups of coffee and meditate on the Scriptures is critical to me. But lately, I’ve found that I’m constantly looking at the clock. Typically because I’ve overslept, because I was up too late staying abreast of the latest presidential debate, because I have to be a good citizen, and now I have to take out the trash and arrange for the car to get fixed and keep up on my reading and do…ARGH!
Even the things that I love to do stress me lately. The desire to write stresses me, because sitting down to generate this blog post was somehow diminished to one more thing on my to-do list for tonight. I have ideas in my head that are pacing like caged tigers to get out on paper, all of which have to bide their time because I’m too busy. Seriously, something has to be done here.
Lest you think I’m digressing into whining, however…well, okay, I’m whining a little…I think this is a problem with our culture at large. I think we’re all stressed in this way, even the most quiet and contemplative among us. As media has become more accessible, and technology has enabled us to do more, suddenly we’re expected to be more productive, to accomplish more. Worse, we begin to expect this of ourselves, and also of our spouses and family and friends. Soon, we’re too stressed to enjoy anything. We can’t live because we’re too busy getting things done. Do you know how much time I spent choosing the right to-do list application for my iPod? That’s an indication that I just might be too busy.
There are many ways that I’m glad I’m busy. Certainly, I can’t stand to be bored, and I never could. Realistically, however, I don’t think I’m in any danger of that and could certainly stand to have some more free time on my hands right now. There something to being still and knowing that He is God. Actually, there’s just a lot to be said for being still. I think its something that we’ve stopped being able to do. I’m not sure I know how to be still any more, and my streamlining things doesn’t help because…well, because then there’s more to streamline.
And I have to stop writing now, because there’s a hundred other things to do before I go to bed. Like finding a way to de-stress. Yeah, de-stress! That would be good…