Dave | unobtrusive lucidity

Time Passages

I hope that I can keep track of what’s important.

That is, I find myself concerned a bit as, even while things go according to plan, I become anxious about the plan sometimes. This move has been different than previous moves for me…much different. Obviously, there’s the fact that I’m now moving a family of three, which is logistically an undertaking comparable to any traveling concert production, I’m convinced. Practically, this is also the biggest move I’ve ever done in regards to distance.

Also, though, this has been the biggest move in regards to emotional repercussions. I became extremely sad at one point during the process, and it lingered for days. I’m still not entirely certain why, but it was almost like I was grieving something. Maybe I’ll have an epiphany later.

As I’ve experienced this dramatic change in place, I’ve also experienced a profound shift in perspective on permanence. That is, I’ve began to recognize that certain things that felt permanent to me are in fact hopelessly temporary, and that what is critically important is, in fact, permanent. The career that I’m changing from was unduly stressful in its own right, but I had come to regard its daily schedule with a sense of permanence because of the comfortable income that it provided. Although we lived in an apartment that, by definition, is not a permanent home, I had come to regard the little routines and patterns there with a sense of permanence that not only belies my distaste for routine, but were also a practical way of staving off the chaos. I think that part of my struggle with this move has been trying to stay on top of being a parent and writer and (once again a) student in the midst of a set of systems that no longer work and have to be re-vamped or entirely replaced. Those systems, which allowed me to keep track of what had to be done and kept mine and Karen’s sanity, though, were very, very temporary things, designed for a temporary place that served us during temporary conditions.

For years, we were in holding pattern, wondering “what next?” in our lives.

And, now that we’re moving forward at long last, I’ve had an irrational difficulty letting go of the temporary. That is, the physical has been threatening to overwhelm the spiritual. What placed this into unyielding perspective, though, was two days ago in the back yard, as I pushed our daughter in a swing. As she giggled with delight and glided to and fro, she made extended eye contact with me, all smiles, her deep eyes communicating a wealth of information.

What they told me that afternoon was, “I trust you, Daddy.”

That’s permanent. Very, very permanent. Whatever transient circumstances and events rotate through our lives, my wife and daughter, and the responsibilities that I have to them, are permanent. They are persistent. They are pervasive.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Moving: An Interlude

In the interest of pointing out how valuable a fine arts education can be in “real life,” here’s a couple of practical ways that being (among other things) a theatre major in college helped during last week’s move as we trekked our life in a moving truck up the East coast.

1. “Of course I know how to tape that. I was a theatre major!”

2. Changing from work clothes into a suit for an interview in a small bathroom in under two minutes.

3. Determining what type of plywood would be necessary to fix a furniture issue after moving in.

4. General improvisation when the entire schedule for the day begins to closely resemble a train wreck.

See? Who says an arts education isn’t valuable? And the adventure continues…

A Review of “Chronicle”

“Chronicle” was an eagerly-awaited addition to our Netflix cue since I first read about it, not only because it is a super-hero, science-fiction film, but also because it’s an interesting take on the genre. Staged as a sort of video verite adventure among high school students, Chronicle is a Cloverfield meets Blair Witch meets Heroes mash-up that, despite how that may leave your head spinning, works extremely well.

Part of the reason it works as well as it does is because it follows the adventures of three high school boys through the lens of the camera of one of them, who films life as a coping skill and a type of escapism from a tragic family life that includes an extremely ill mother and an abusive, alcoholic father. The camera lens follows the three boys as they discover a sort of alien artifact (or ship, or something…we’re never entirely certain) that irradiates them and endows them with a series of telekinetic abilities. The three grow stronger as they experiment in the use of their abilities, getting into pranks as teenage boys will, and building unlikely friendships with each other. Andrew develops into the strongest of the three, but is unaccepting of the societal norms that the other two agree should govern the use of their new powers.

What’s fascinating about the development of the story is that the camera…and eventually other cameras…become an extension of Andrew’s character. He verbalizes at one point that he prefers the lens of the camera as a barrier between himself and the rest of the world, and the perspective of any camera lens soon transforms for the viewer into Andrew’s perspective, as he perceives himself as an all-powerful “apex predator” over the rest of humanity. That is, until we meet Casey, who turns her own camera lens to the world in order to enact positive influences. Eventually, the perspective of the viewer leaves the confined realms of these two cameras, and explodes into every camera viewing the climactic action, be they helicopter cameras, police dash cameras, or the swarm of mobile phone cameras with which Andrew surrounds himself as he hovers mid-air at one point. The intentional directorial choice to frame the film in this way is an unusually fresh take on a super-hero film.

Also intriguing about this directorial choice is the stage-like theatrical quality it lends to the film, as special effects are minimal and key parts of the story (was it an alien ship, a meteor, or what??) remained unexplained in a completely acceptable way. The mysteries of the story are maintained in a manner that would cause a more widely cinematic take on this story to fall flat.

As the three main characters explore their new-found powers, Matt ultimately chooses the role of hero, Steve the role of antihero, and Andrew the role of villain. When Steve ultimately turns to a more positive role with his abilities and attempts to turn Andrew away from evil exercises of his power, his fate leaves Matt to step in and engage Andrew in a final epic battle of good against evil. What makes this fascinating, even though it is the only true way such a storyline can evolve, is that it evolves with all three character types in an extremely realistic transformation of everyman characters into superhumans, to say nothing of the fact that we feel sympathetic to the development of the villain.

Chronicle uses the super-hero genre to explore the ultimate view of human life as either utilitarian and expendable (Andrew’s view as he sees himself atop an evolutionary ladder), or as inherently valuable and worth preserving (Matt’s view as he acts heroically to save lives, even of a man he knows to be abusive). Matt displays the nature of a hero in choosing to use his abilities for good instead of evil.

Chronicle is a dark but amazing film that deserves your attention if you enjoy science fiction or the super-hero genre at all, or even if you’re looking for a good suspense film. Add this to your cue, and you won’t be disappointed.

Wish You Were Here

I’ve been accused of having too many interests in life. Or, as some have phrased it, I still don’t know what to be when I grow up.

What’s that? I’ve already grown up?? When did that happen??? I refuse to accept this…

There are a lot of ways in which having the full plate of interests and subjects about which I’m passionate are good. I have a tendency to never get bored, because there’s always something new to read or a new thing to try in one discipline or another. I have several different perspectives that I can meld into any given pursuit, which, as a sort of Burkian principle, helps me to understand things more thoroughly by seeing them through the lens of something else.

The downside is that I’m frequently disappointed by the fact that I can’t possibly pursue all (or even most) of these interests professionally. As much as I would love to make a living at some of them, I’ve only ever been able to make a living with one or two. So, all of these other interests to which I would devote hours of time if I had unlimited hours in my day are left, by necessity, in the realm of hobby.

As a poet once said, the only thing worse than having a job is not having a job…

Still, occasionally I get the chance to combine vocation and avocation in really cool ways, and that energizes me. And I think that these sorts of events are really important, because they let me have the chance to see one aspect of my life through the lens of another, which helps me to understand it all the more…again, that Burkian principle.

There are also times when I read about amazing conferences or events that I’m bummed because I didn’t get to participate in. That’s life. What I find so amazingly benevolent, though, is that those who did attend them take the time to write out the thoughts and takeaways from those events for the good of the public at large. Reading those recollections are encouraging and helpful to me, and give me the boost I need to be creative, to keep my (slightly loose grip on) sanity, and to just get through the day with my head on my shoulders correctly.

Always a nice thing, that. And, as soon as I’m able to either clone myself or to be in more than one place simultaneously, I’ll make it to more of these events myself.

More Moving Thoughts

Thursday of this week was the last day of the day job that I’ve held for the last five years. I experienced an odd bout of sentimentality, which really was the last thing I was expecting. I took this position five years ago when freelancing wasn’t making the ends meet, Karen and I hadn’t been married that long, and we needed my income to be more consistent. I was just beginning to stir up dreams of doing a doctoral degree or an MFA at the time, and accepted the position thinking that I would stay there for one year.

Five years, accomplished financial goals, and one daughter later, I walked out of that office on a quiet Thursday afternoon, into a parking lot that has often found me thinking “it’s Friday!!“, and drove away just as I have hundreds of other times, though now to never return. It’s a given that I will miss my colleagues, because I have been honored to work with a great team there. And, although I’m not sure I can truly say that I will miss the place, or the position itself, I found myself appreciating it in a way that I wouldn’t have had I merely stayed for the year that I had initially planned. Again, evidence that my wanderlust can occasionally be a bad thing.

I suppose that longevity has its rewards. Who knew?