As I write this, we are nearing the end of the Holiday break. Schools resume in a few days, and as our kiddos return to school, so must we return to the lives of responsible adults. The vacation has been life-giving…space to breathe, if you will. I feel as though the time period between back-to-school through Christmas sees a steady increase in activity that eventually reaches an unworkably frenetic pace, which then drops precipitously after the holidays. I look forward to that drop. The first few days of vacation were spent recovering from exhaustion. Youth is wasted on the young.
Earlier this week, our youngest kiddo spontaneously decided to bake. Like her sister, she has this creative drive that just doesn’t end, and, as her capabilities increase, its fascinating to watch. The result was cupcakes with home-made icing that tasted amazing. This particular kiddo always has a project going on. In the couple of days prior, she had started a scrap-booking project, researched tigers extensively, and created a ferris wheel from aquabeads. She’s always wanting to try something new, and always coming out with an amazing finished product. I have a framed drawing from her in my office as one of the best Christmas gifts of the year.
I envy her that drive.
I’ve had time to write over the vacation, but have yet to do so, not even a post in this space, which I have greatly neglected. I think that it’s because I feel like I need to have a full and complete idea organized in my head before I start typing any words, when really, I need to just start typing. I have this unhealthy dose of artistic angst that haunts me, telling me that I can’t let the words flow as I once did due to too many other obligations, not because of the time involvement, but because of the brain drain of everything else. When I take a few minutes to remember, though, I wrote in a previous career after my 9-5. When I was in grad school, I remember writing a scene of a play while I was waiting in line at the car wash.
There’s something to be said for positivity, for the feeling of optimism that leads to an almost disinhibited drive to get things done. I feel like that’s the most difficult thing with which to wrestle as an adult, the most stubborn obstacle to overcome when it comes to writing. There’s a feeling that I won’t be able to write anything worthwhile even if I try, because I have too many other pressures and life things taking up space in my head.
And yet, when I get these things out of my head and onto paper or onto the screen, there’s a feeling of relief and clarity, because keeping the ideas and characters and thoughts in my head is just not healthy.
So, while I didn’t do badly on my new year’s resolutions for 2025, I’m paring back for 2026 to this single resolution: I’m going to adopt the disinhibition of optimism, and see where it leads.
Because I was inspired by cupcakes.
Happy Holidays!