When life gives you lemons…well, you know the adage. It’s sort of cringe-worthy at this point, but still springs to mind a lot because, well, let’s face it…life seems to have a particular fondness for lemons.
I’ve been forced to re-focus quite a bit over the course of the last year, confronted with a mirror that I didn’t particularly want to look into. I’m glad that I did, because I’ve realized a lot of places where my life has gone wrong due to decisions I’ve made, and have been able to work to correct those decisions. I thought that was the path I was on for the next year or so, and was content for that to be enough, because it’s hard work.
The onslaught of lemons wasn’t quite at an end, as it turns out. The catalyst that forced my introspection last year was an unceremonious layoff that left us scrambling for income. There was a point at which I wasn’t sure if we would be able to keep our home, or if we would have to move. The dust seemed to have settled in a decidedly better place emotionally, and we were settling into a new rhythm, when, about three weeks ago, another serious event happened…the sort that causes life to become extremely uncertain and introduces a feeling of things spiraling out of control. Again.
During the initial days, I reckoned with the stress and anxiety that such an event introduces. There’s a great deal of difficulty in approaching day-to-day life when it feels like things have shifted at a fundamental level. That weekend, there was a family event and we attended. I thought it was going to be a small event…as it turned out, a lot of extended family that I hadn’t seen in a long time were there.
Among them was a nephew that I hadn’t seen in…well, in too long. I remember this guy when he was a baby. About ten years ago, he visited us for a couple of days. He was into superheroes at the time, and I have this great memory of us watching Justice League Unlimited while he was there. We did some other fun family things, but that’s the memory that’s most prominent for me. I thought I was just being a cool uncle.
When he saw me a few days ago, he gave me a big hug. The first thing that he said was that he still remembers watching Justice League Unlimited with me all those years ago, and that he occasionally still goes back to re-watch that series (it’s a really good animated series, by the way…extremely well written). We got to hang out a bit that weekend…nothing big, but it all seemed so important to him, each small event holding this weight of importance in his perception.
We’re still working on righting the ship after this recent event, but that weekend helped me gain a very important perspective. Choosing to watch an animated superhero show with a nephew all those years ago turned out to be a foundational event in a family relationship. So was this recent weekend. Those relationships…the people, their journeys, and how those journeys intersect with ours…are so much more important than jobs, finances, schools, and the other things that we place at such high value. More important by an order of magnitude. I had no idea that I was serving as such an example to this family member. I am humbled and honored, and that will continue despite the state of these other concerns.
So, I’m continuing to learn. I think what I’m (re-)learning is that the most important things in life aren’t tied to careers, income, and those sorts of things. I’m learning that relationships with people are so, so much more important, especially in a digital world that holds them at held at arms’ length. I’m learning that the most important things in life are generally different than what I perceive my priorities to be.