1 - 2012 | unobtrusive lucidity

Tragic Flaws

Do you remember Hamlet’s tragic flaw? He considered everything for so long that he no longer had a concept of right or wrong, and was unable to take action on his thoughts. That is, he thought too much, and didn’t act. Sometimes, I feel very Hamlet-like. Not that I’m plotting revenge for a family wrong…no, nothing quite so melodramatic in my life. Just that I have these great ideas, and then I think about them until they’re almost completely fleshed out, and then I don’t do anything about them.

For example, three years or so ago, I met a visual artist who said he was interested in illustrating a YA fantasy novel, but needed a writer. We had coffee, we brainstormed. He showed me some storyboards of ideas, I wrote the rough drafts of a few chapters. But, YA really isn’t my genre, so I told myself, and my schedule was incredibly busy. Ultimately, we stopped meeting and conversing about the project, and I shelved the chapters I had written as a “dead project,” relegated to the recesses of my hard drive. Eventually, I lost contact with the artist.

Now, I sort of wish that I had pursued the project. Perhaps I could have pulled it off, after all. One never knows.

That happens frequently with writing projects. I have random ideas that I store somewhere in my brain, or that I type out in order to remember. Some are deleted after being re-visited a few months later, and others are kept. And I think about them. And I think about them. And I think about them some more. Very infrequently, however, do I sit down and do any writing. Thus, I’m typically juggling two or three projects when many more show potential.

So, I’m resolved to make the space for more side projects, this year. In addition to the two works-in-progress I’m actively writing and editing, I’ve started one such side project, a non-fiction collection of thoughts that may or may not become anything, but that I’m going to write, in any case. I’m also going to take a shot at a children’s book for which I had an idea a little over a year ago, but that I never touched, because children’s literature really isn’t my genre. Still, I’m going to see how it turns out.

I need to move forward in other areas of life, as well…opportunities that present themselves that I don’t immediately jump on because I spend too much time thinking and not enough time engaging. I’m just getting around to actively pursuing an opportunity that arose nearly two years ago, now…one that I put off for far too long until we eventually had a baby, causing the potential to be pushed even further down the line.

Karen balances me, well, in that she likes to have all of the details before moving on an idea. I have the impulse to just move, but then become completely stagnate if I pause to consider all of the details. I think there has to be a balance, an in-between ground of approaching something wisely while still moving expeditiously. So, striking that balance is a goal for my new year.

The worst-case scenario is that I’ll be talking next year about all of those wild ideas that we tried, instead of thinking about what I wish we had already done.

Photo Attribution: Brian Hillegas

Code of Ethics

The first I heard of the Costa Concordia cruise ship partially sinking off the coast of Italy was when I stumbled onto some very striking photos on Tumblr. The images of this mammoth ship listing on its side seemed surreal at first, and certainly brought to mind recollections of the Titanic. As the number of missing has grown each time I check my news feeds, it seems, I also noticed that, among the charges pending against the captain of the ship are abandoning his vessel while passengers were still aboard.

This, of course, makes me think of the “captain going down with his ship” concept that we’ve heard in stories for a long time. Of course, there’s no law indicating that a captain has to sink and lose his or her life if their vessel goes under, at least not that I’m aware of, or that I can imagine. I was unaware that it is illegal for a captain to abandon his or her passengers, however, but I find it interesting and appropriate that there is a legal code for this.

This sparked a discussion with Karen and I about legal codes versus ethical codes. Perhaps, I thought, the “captain goes down with his ship” is more of an old ethical code than anything else…an understanding of dedication to the duty that is included with your vocation or lifestyle. This isn’t something along the lines of a police officer encountering a crime when off-duty, as a peace officer is a sworn public servant, and typically must intervene anyway. This is more along the lines of a physician following his or her sworn oath to the healing arts if, for example, driving onto the scene of an accident and choosing to render aid to the victims. When one chooses to be a physician, one recognizes that they are undertaking the burden of this ethical code. Different vocations and professions have different ethical codes, something by which those entering the profession agree to be bound. Health care and educational professionals, for example, are mandated reporters in almost every state in the U.S., and this requirement often doesn’t stop within the bounds of their professional practice.

So, the idea of a captain allegedly abandoning their vessel while imperiled passengers and crew were still aboard strikes me as a particularly dishonorable action. While there are many so-called good Samaritans in the world who will voluntarily place themselves at risk to help those in danger, there are those who voluntarily undertake the ethical, if not legal, obligation to do so under certain circumstances. Failure to uphold that ethical responsibility is a personal failure of the highest calibre.

Perhaps the issue is that we are not placed in situations requiring us to uphold these ethical codes that frequently? Perhaps its easy to say that we would place ourselves in harm’s way to help someone in need, but the situation looks quite differently if we actually find ourselves in that situation. Perhaps a fight, flight, or freeze response can overtake even the strongest of us in the right circumstances, forcing a response contrary to what we know we should do. Its interesting, however, to think that we might choose and make a commitment to a profession in which such an ethical (or legal) code were required of us, and then fail to keep it at a critical moment. I guess that failure sort of makes the rest of us feel betrayed.

Perhaps we should show more grace to each other, recognizing that everyone make serious errors?

I’m interested to see if this captain’s actions prove intentionally avoidant, or simply fearfully negligent. I’m also interested to see what consequences are enforced as an outcome.

The greatest compliment that you can pay to a book you love isn’t the sparkling review that you blog after you’ve finished, nor how many stars you “rate” the book. It isn’t even the conversation in a coffee shop with a friend in which you go on and on about how amazing a book you’ve read. The greatest compliment that you can pay to a book you love…and to its author…is lending that book to someone else, and letting them experience what you have experienced. That is what I hope happens to someone with my writing, because it is the highest honor for the author of those words you love.

Simplistic Interlude

I like simple, streamlined, and uncomplicated lately. I’m particularly attracted to things that work smoothly. Minimalist is a word that comes to mind.

I think that appreciating minimalism brings about these moments of clarity because you become more focused on the basic. You take these interludes that orient you to these really huge moments in life that we experience every day but that would normally fly by us because we would be so intense with the business, with the complex.

While Karen was away teaching her night class at the end of the week, I was home with our daughter, who had spent most of her day much, much fussier than usual. The night was complicated, as only a night with a crying baby and a new dad attempting to decipher what’s wrong with said crying baby in order to fix it, can be. When all was said and done, though, and she had finally quieted down and become content, I looked down at her while I was rocking her to sleep and she was looking up at me, making eye contact in a way that communicated that she completely trusted me to take care of her, to place her welfare before my own, to not let her down.

That was a such a simple moment. And it was a moment of earth-shattering clarity. The sort of moment that you don’t walk away from the same as before you experienced it.

I’m so glad that I was paying attention.

I hope your weekend is full of enough pauses to appreciate the moments that you’ll experience.

Life isn’t a competition in which “he who dies with the most toys wins.” When we fight each other, or steal, because of material things, we are de-humanizing each other. There comes a point at which we are serving our technology, when instead the inverse was intended to be true.